Brother finds out best friend has been dating his little sister only after they announce their engagement on Instagram: 'I'm hurt [that they] kept something like this hidden for two years'

Advertisement
  • 01

    AITAH for being upset and hurt that my best friend has been in a secret relationship with my little sister for almost two years and I only found out after they got engaged on instagram?

    A man proposing to an overjoyed woman outside in a city
  • 02
    Last week I was scrolling through instagram like usual and my best friend since forever posted a story which was weird because he almost never posts anything
  • 03
    ever, so I opened it and it was a picture of him hugging and kissing my little sister with a "she said yes" caption, I was like
  • 04
    what the actual f and I called him multiple times but he didn't answer and I went home to see my sister and ask her what the
  • 05
    h is going on and he was right there at my house hugging my little sister and my parents were there and they all were clearly
  • 06
    A man looks shocked and angry at something on his phone
  • 07
    waiting for me, I exploded and asked what the h Tis going down and they just told me to
  • 08
    calm down and they explained that they've been in a relationship for almost two years and their excuse for not telling me about it
  • 09
    was that he was a huge f boy in the past but he really loved my sister and they didn't wanna tell me about it until they made it
  • 10
    official, I was understandably angry and upset and just left, my parents have been leaving me messages and voicemails telling me to stop overreacting and
  • 11
    being dramatic and that their relationship has nothing to do with me and to just be happy for them, and he's been apologising
  • 12
    to me saying he never meant to hurt me and that he loves me but I just can't see or hear them right now.
  • 13
    Sure he's a great guy and is pretty successful and I know he's gonna treat my little sister good and I'm happy for them honestly
  • 14
    but I'm hurt but how they thought I was some controlling and kept something like this head hidden from me for two
  • 15
    years which included him probably lying to my face tens of times to go with my sister.
  • 16
    A family eating dinner together
  • 17
    Am I the a hole here for being hurt and angry about them hiding their relationship from me and should I have just took it and moved on?
  • 18
    dogfishheadache NTA I echo everyone's suggestions to be the bigger person, congratulate them, and calmly point out that their behavior has been deceptive and hurtful.
  • 19
    However...I would also take a giant step back from both relationships and focus on developing other friendships,
  • 20
    hobbies, etc. I guarantee you that they might have been nervous about your reaction, but also got some thrill out of keeping this secret and sneaking around.
  • 21
    Two men fist bump on a basketball court
  • 22
    MattDaveys "Expect to be kept in the loop of my life like you kept me in yours."
  • 23
    quackerjacks45 Yeah, there was a window of time to keep this hush hush and have it be acceptable (maybe a couple of months to ensure it's serious) but two years and a
  • 24
    social media announcement? Yeah, that's disrespectful and breaks any foundation of trust in a relationship. They need to rebuild that trust, not OP. He
  • 25
    committed the grave sin of... being a brother and best friend? And that somehow means he deserved deception and lies for two whole years from his entire family? people? is wrong with these
  • 26
    yellwat NTA of course you're upset. Two people you thought you were close to have hidden something huge from you. Your trust is totally broken and they've made you feel like a fool. Awful.
  • 27
    hurt brother_Im OP Exactly, like he was over at my house dozens of times these past two years with my parents and sister there and they all knew what was happening except me and they acted like they weren't in a full on relationship
  • 28
    MonOubliette Plus, they left you to find out via social media. Like, not a single one of them thought it might be a good idea to give you a heads up before they announced it? That's messed up.
  • 29
    Beautiful WomenlLike NTA. The real pain isn't the relationship, it's being left out for so long. That cuts deeper than the news itself.
  • 30
    NTA Keith-Steve-Howard Your whole family and your best friend LIED TO YOU for two years! That's a huge breach of trust, how do they not understand that?

Tags

Scroll Down For The Next Article